For 80 blissful minutes each week, Lavinia Gould is able to escape the "dark places" and revel in a world where anything seems possible.
A fulltime worker and devoted mother of two children Gould, a Black Ferns representative, national sevens player and NRLW title-winner, has also faced plenty of challenges in recent years.
Plenty will wilt under the Super W grand final pressure at Leichhardt Oval on Sunday but don't expect Gould to be among them.
She's overcome plenty in recent years, things that would make most athletes give up.
A drug ban for inadvertent use of a banned substance found in a supplement she was sharing with her bodybuilder sister, injuries that cruelled her Olympic sevens dream and the health issues battled by oldest daughter Kaia.
Gould admitted it was hard sometimes not to dwell in the dark places.
"You get challenges no matter where you are in life and my story is probably no different to someone else, they may have a different story but the same hardship," Gould said.
"So for me not to use that as an excuse was big, not to live in that dark place. To come back better and stronger.
"For me really now, it's about enjoying every moment I get out there.
"I never know when it's my last and every minute out there I'm relishing."
For what the 36-year-aold has faced over the past few years, she knows that rugby is a game and as women's sport enters a professional era, knows that playing it is not just a job but a privilege - and for her, an escape.
"Even when I'm training and I take myself to this horrible place and you're like, 'why am I doing this?'
"But when you step out on the field, you think, this stuff is easy when you compare it to real life.
"I get to play footy for 80 minutes, how cool is that; I get to be whoever I want out on that field for 80 minutes, how cool is that?
"That's all I've got to tell myself."
Gould is not simply a player.
The Queensland women's flyhalf is a mentor, tutor, role model and motivation to players around her and a generation of young girls that can now view the rugby codes as a profession as well as a recreation.
She is happy to play those roles for many. But the two people she wants to influence most are daughters Kaia, 14, and Khalarnae - or Buzi, as she is known to most - nine this month.
The pair are her greatest motivation and are with her constantly, their names etched on her boots and wrist strapping to help squeeze every ounce of effort from her frame on the footy field.
"I've got my own two girls who I want to take every opportunity they can, just view things as, there's no closed door," she said.
"If it's closed, open it and see what's behind it.
"Just be ruthless in what you want and do everything you have to do to do it.
"There's so many young girls out there now watching on TV, coming down (to the ground) to watch and to be a positive role model for them and to give them something to work towards and look up to, that's pretty inspiring in itself."
Gould would literally give up a piece of herself for her children.
Kaia's health issues have already required a kidney transplant, with her father donating the organ.
It seemed there would be a need for another operation though and Gould was ready to undergo surgery before recent improvements made that unnecessary for now.
For all the teams she's made and premierships she's won, nothing compares to Gould seeing her daughter enjoying good health and "normal" teenage activities.
"She's off her treatment, off for a month now, off the machine, so she's been able to live a semi-normal life for the last month now and hopefully it continues," Gould said.
"It's been a huge time for her just to let go of that stuff for now - we hope that it's for a while - and just be a kid again.
"The disease is one that tends to come back and come back quite aggressively, so they're giving her time off the machine and see how her body goes and they're hopeful that it takes a while to regenerate itself in the blood.
"If need be, they'll put her back on treatment if and when she needs It but for now, we'll just let her do her thing - which is enjoy being a kid."
If she needs another transplant though, Gould is ready.
"Definitely. That's what a parent does, her father was the first donor.
"For now, for us, it's stay positive and let her be a kid, which she hasn't been able to do.
"She takes everything in her stride and she kind of copes with it all herself.
"So she seems older than what she is and she's really mature. But to see her going out and enjoying hanging out with friends and doing kids' stuff, it's more than we can ask for."
Gould's combination with new halves partner Cobie-Jane Morgan is a huge key for Queensland in Sunday's final, a rematch between last year's combatants.
The Waratahs women won that game in extra-time and while Queensland were gutted - Gould included - she also knows what an outstanding advertisement it was for the game.
"It was a huge disappointment last year but a really amazing final to play," she said.
"If you go down, you go down well and that final to me was a brilliant final - good for women's rugby, good as a showcase and I think the crowd enjoyed it.
"But personally, it's really hard to lose.
"And to go down by one penalty in extra-time, you couldn't ask for any more in a final but it does hurt.
"So to get back to this position, we're going to be guns blazing.
"I said to these girls when I first came, I'm not leaving here without a title.
"The years are ticking on now.
"It'd mean the world to me actually.
"I've just played this game for so long. It would have been nice to win it last year because it was the first year and to win the first one is always extremely special but I don't think it will make a difference being the second one, I just want to win one.
"And I want the girls to experience that as well."
Gould wants to win on Sunday, but even more, she wants to give back to a game she says has given her so much.
"I've been around for a long time. I've chased the jerseys and I've worn the jerseys that I've wanted to wear," she said.
"For me, it's now about giving back to the girls on the field and giving them as much knowledge as I can while I can, and I feel like I can still do that.
"It feels good - as a past and present player - and to know where (rugby) is going to, I'm blown away.
"These girls are so lucky and I hope they appreciate now and move towards what's coming because bigger things are coming."
