All Blacks legend Dan Carter said Tuesday he still "feels sick" about drink driving in France earlier this year and is grateful no one was hurt by his actions.
Carter was banned from driving for five months after police caught him intoxicated behind the wheel in Paris last February.
The two-time World Cup winner, who is now playing for Racing 92 in France's Top 14, said he had let a lot of people down.
"It's not about the punishment that the judge gives you or the fine or anything like that, it's actually the potential consequences that really hit home for you," he told New Zealand's Radio Sport in a phone interview.
"It actually made me feel sick and it makes me feel sick now, thinking and talking about it.
"Much as I'd love to say I've moved on from it, it's something I'm going to have to live with for the rest of my life."
Carter, who played 112 Tests for New Zealand, lost a sponsorship with Land Rover over the incident, which dented his image as one of rugby's most marketable players.
The 35-year-old said he had settled in at Racing and was enjoying a change of lifestyle in France.
"It's great, I'm still really enjoying it. I've been here almost two years now, which has gone pretty quickly," he said.
"Obviously it's a challenge living over this side of the world but it's just what I needed at this stage of my career."
Carter is contracted to the end of this season and said he was weighing up whether to return to New Zealand, with the decision resting on family considerations.
"I'm kind of going through those thoughts at the moment, whether I stay, whether I look at other opportunities," he said.
"New Zealand is where the family is and family is a big part of my life."
